Give Yourself a Try

Hello!

Somehow, it's already May 14th. Time is pretty nonexistent right now but anyway. May is Mental Health Awareness month. Here's a short collection of my thoughts.

Alright, picture this:

You feel heavy. Your chest aches, specifically around your heart, every time you breathe. It feels like there's something pulling you down, unseen but crippling. Waking up feels like a chore, but you make yourself get out of bed with your alarm in the morning and get ready for work. Accomplishing putting your clothes on and brushing your teeth eases the tension a little bit. You eat breakfast and you make the drive. By the time you go into the building, you feel a little more able to tackle the day. You wave at your coworkers, you catch up from the weekend and tell them you have dinner plans for the night. You feel a little more normal by lunch because you have things to look forward to. You have activities to tackle and that feeling of ticking things off your to-do list makes you think, "Alright, I can do this." You make plans with your friends. You follow through, because deep down you know staying busy keeps the darkness at bay. It's what you've been told to do; keep a routine, go to work, see people. Don't stay isolated. Don't stay in your bed. Don't stay in your house.

But now, picture this:

All of the things you normally do have suddenly ended. There's no work. Why get out of bed? You can't go see your friends. Why get dressed? You're told stay inside. Only leave when necessary. Six feet apart. No interaction. The weight is back. It's a bit heavier than usual. Normally, you can subdue it. But now... Now it feels big and you feel so small. You're being crushed. Everything is a bit wobbly and out of focus. Everything seems pretty pointless and bleak when you read the news. It gets better, then seems like it's coming to a crashing halt again. Even if things are opening back up, is it going to get better? The uncertainty of an outcome is making the anxiety build. You don't have a job to go to right now. You don't have people close. Everything is.... so heavy. And you're so... alone.

Right now, that's what a lot of people feel like. Maybe they lost their job. Or they're directly affected by the virus. Or they have a compromised immune system and can't leave their house until June at the earliest. There's a lot of suffering going on. I know a pediatric nurse who said their cases of suicide attempts have increased. These are kids younger than 18 who are scared and feel alone because of the way the world is. Domestic violence cases have also spiked. People are stuck with their abusers and don't have an option to get out right now. This isn't to say we're doing anything wrong; we need to be cautious and do what we're told right now to make anything better. But it is crushing a lot of us and that's just something to be aware of. Someone doesn't have to have diagnosed chemical depression to feel isolated and down and right now we're in the perfect setting to breed those feelings.

There's still ways to make it better. Go outside. Sit on a blanket in the sun and feel the warmth. Go to a park. Go for walks. Have zoom dates with your friends. Play games online with them-it turns into a big ball of laughter I promise. Write letters and send care packages. It's easier said than done, but we have to find the little flickers of hope and joy in the big spots of emptiness right now.

These last couple of months have been hard on a lot of people. Check in on your friends, keep in contact, make use of the countless amounts of technology we have all around us now. It's going to be different for awhile and the least we can do is try to make it a little brighter for our friends who feel so trapped in the dark.

May is Mental Health Awareness month and this year I'm thinking about everyone who's stuck in this pit. I'm here for you. Your people are here for you. We're all going to push through this. There is a light at the end of the tunnel even if it feels so small and so far away. We're getting there.

You got this.