Work work work work work
This year has been one massive roller coaster with a lot of drops, but even more peaks. One of the peaks has been the job I started back in April. Okay, that's not completely true. The job itself isn't really what I want to be doing with my life, however the thing that has been great is the kids that I work with. Most are on the Autism spectrum, some have mental illnesses on top of that, and all of them have some behaviors that have to be monitored (i.e., why most of my job is staring at them). I wanted to share some of the highlights and things I've learned from the past few months with these kiddos that aren't really kiddos.
1. There is nothing more heartwarming than a mostly nonverbal student using their talker to ask you how your day is.
Several of our kids are completely nonverbal or can only say a handful of words, so they use iPads with an app that acts as their voice. A lot of the time it's just "Hey I need to use the bathroom" or "I'm thirsty/hungry/tired", things of the like. But one day I walked into a classroom and was talking to one of the direct care staff when one of the girls comes up, taps me on the shoulder, and proceeds to use her talker to ask me how my day was going-completely unprompted. I almost cried. It doesn't sound like much, but when a kid that isn't able to process the world in the same way we can gains a skill like that-even though it sounds so simple and straightforward-it is grounds to celebrate. And maybe shed a tear or two.
2. JK the one thing more heartwarming is a nonverbal kid learning to say her name.
There's this one girl on my caseload who has always had limited phrases she could vocalize since I started working there. But last month, I was at her group home doing some assessments when they told me to watch this. They asked her who she was and she got this big smile across her face and said her nickname. I squealed. You'll see I cry and freak out a lot over things my kids do. But anyway, ever since, anytime I see her I've been asking her to say her name. I love it so much.
3. This same girl has gone from needing complete physical assistance with everything she does, to actively trying to do stuff for herself.
And that, ladies and gents, is the whole goal of my job.
4. Having a student rush up to you and give you the biggest hug almost every time you see them is a wonderful feeling.
In general, knowing I'm one of the people they look forward to seeing fills me with such an immense joy. A lot of these kids don't have family that visits them or only see their family every once and awhile. I consider it my responsibility to give these students as much love as I can to show them someone else truly does care about them when they aren't able to have their family around. Having a student willingly come up and give me a hug makes me feel like I've accomplished that a little bit. Granted my girl that mostly does this has also bitten a nice little chunk out of my shoulder and regularly scratches me, but it's okay she still manages to be one of my favorites.
5. One of the kids sang me happy birthday then kissed my hand and confessed his love for me.
This is one of my favorite stories because it's really funny in my opinion. So, a downside of being around the same age as these guys and looking like a 15 year old is I've ended up with a couple of students having crushes. It's both awkward and a little amusing at times. But one of these guys on my birthday came over to my desk and sang to me then proceeded to hold my hand which I didn't really think much of. Next thing I know he's kissing my hand and telling me how much he loves me and I'm just sitting there like "that's nice, sweetie."
6. Having a staff member come up and tell me that they genuinely appreciated everything I've been doing for them
Lately, I've been feeling useless at work, like nothing I'm trying to do really makes much of a difference. A large portion of my job is sitting in classrooms or group homes observing the direct care staff and our students. A lot of the staff don't like this and don't enjoy having us around because we're technically supervisors there to deliver feedback and monitor the situation. Nobody wants to feel like their every move is being watched. I had been feeling like I was in the way and just a general nuisance to the direct care staff, but I was walking through the school and one of them came up to me and told me how her class genuinely appreciated me so much and thanked me for sticking with them and trying to better their ability to take care of these kids. It gave me a new hope to light the way for the rest of my week.
7. I'm surprisingly patient
I've always considered myself a pretty impatient person. I don't like waiting for things once I've decided I want them-i.e. things like chopping my hair off because I was tired of waiting to get a better bleach job and getting a new tattoo because I was sad. But with these kids, I have an almost never-ending stream of patience. Some kids have feeding procedures, and running those procedures a lot of the time means getting food thrown at you or spit on you. I've been covered in more turnip greens than I ever expected. Some kids require you to do everything for them-including bathing and wiping them after they use the restroom. Some kids hit and pinch and scratch you for the heck of it. I've seen coworkers get kicked in the chest and tackled to the ground and have bite marks that leave holes in their legs. Sometimes you have to lock yourself in the bathroom for ten minutes because you're just so frustrated with the day. But even with all of this, I still love these kids with all of my heart. I still want to work with them. I've never lost my temper and hardly ever even blame them. Sure, some of them are completely aware that it's not okay to give someone a concussion, but I also put a lot of weight on how their brains are wired totally different than mine. How can I be angry at them for hitting me when they don't understand the concept of pain? I get asked "How do you put up with that?" a lot and honestly I don't think anything of it. I never considered it a special skill, it's something I just do. I want to help these kids as much as I possibly can and want to understand them to the best of my ability.
So I don't love my job, but it's opened a big door for me to work with these people that I do so deeply love and I'm grateful for that.
Maybe I'll become a behavior analyst after all.
1. There is nothing more heartwarming than a mostly nonverbal student using their talker to ask you how your day is.
Several of our kids are completely nonverbal or can only say a handful of words, so they use iPads with an app that acts as their voice. A lot of the time it's just "Hey I need to use the bathroom" or "I'm thirsty/hungry/tired", things of the like. But one day I walked into a classroom and was talking to one of the direct care staff when one of the girls comes up, taps me on the shoulder, and proceeds to use her talker to ask me how my day was going-completely unprompted. I almost cried. It doesn't sound like much, but when a kid that isn't able to process the world in the same way we can gains a skill like that-even though it sounds so simple and straightforward-it is grounds to celebrate. And maybe shed a tear or two.
2. JK the one thing more heartwarming is a nonverbal kid learning to say her name.
There's this one girl on my caseload who has always had limited phrases she could vocalize since I started working there. But last month, I was at her group home doing some assessments when they told me to watch this. They asked her who she was and she got this big smile across her face and said her nickname. I squealed. You'll see I cry and freak out a lot over things my kids do. But anyway, ever since, anytime I see her I've been asking her to say her name. I love it so much.
3. This same girl has gone from needing complete physical assistance with everything she does, to actively trying to do stuff for herself.
And that, ladies and gents, is the whole goal of my job.
4. Having a student rush up to you and give you the biggest hug almost every time you see them is a wonderful feeling.
In general, knowing I'm one of the people they look forward to seeing fills me with such an immense joy. A lot of these kids don't have family that visits them or only see their family every once and awhile. I consider it my responsibility to give these students as much love as I can to show them someone else truly does care about them when they aren't able to have their family around. Having a student willingly come up and give me a hug makes me feel like I've accomplished that a little bit. Granted my girl that mostly does this has also bitten a nice little chunk out of my shoulder and regularly scratches me, but it's okay she still manages to be one of my favorites.
5. One of the kids sang me happy birthday then kissed my hand and confessed his love for me.
This is one of my favorite stories because it's really funny in my opinion. So, a downside of being around the same age as these guys and looking like a 15 year old is I've ended up with a couple of students having crushes. It's both awkward and a little amusing at times. But one of these guys on my birthday came over to my desk and sang to me then proceeded to hold my hand which I didn't really think much of. Next thing I know he's kissing my hand and telling me how much he loves me and I'm just sitting there like "that's nice, sweetie."
6. Having a staff member come up and tell me that they genuinely appreciated everything I've been doing for them
Lately, I've been feeling useless at work, like nothing I'm trying to do really makes much of a difference. A large portion of my job is sitting in classrooms or group homes observing the direct care staff and our students. A lot of the staff don't like this and don't enjoy having us around because we're technically supervisors there to deliver feedback and monitor the situation. Nobody wants to feel like their every move is being watched. I had been feeling like I was in the way and just a general nuisance to the direct care staff, but I was walking through the school and one of them came up to me and told me how her class genuinely appreciated me so much and thanked me for sticking with them and trying to better their ability to take care of these kids. It gave me a new hope to light the way for the rest of my week.
7. I'm surprisingly patient
I've always considered myself a pretty impatient person. I don't like waiting for things once I've decided I want them-i.e. things like chopping my hair off because I was tired of waiting to get a better bleach job and getting a new tattoo because I was sad. But with these kids, I have an almost never-ending stream of patience. Some kids have feeding procedures, and running those procedures a lot of the time means getting food thrown at you or spit on you. I've been covered in more turnip greens than I ever expected. Some kids require you to do everything for them-including bathing and wiping them after they use the restroom. Some kids hit and pinch and scratch you for the heck of it. I've seen coworkers get kicked in the chest and tackled to the ground and have bite marks that leave holes in their legs. Sometimes you have to lock yourself in the bathroom for ten minutes because you're just so frustrated with the day. But even with all of this, I still love these kids with all of my heart. I still want to work with them. I've never lost my temper and hardly ever even blame them. Sure, some of them are completely aware that it's not okay to give someone a concussion, but I also put a lot of weight on how their brains are wired totally different than mine. How can I be angry at them for hitting me when they don't understand the concept of pain? I get asked "How do you put up with that?" a lot and honestly I don't think anything of it. I never considered it a special skill, it's something I just do. I want to help these kids as much as I possibly can and want to understand them to the best of my ability.
So I don't love my job, but it's opened a big door for me to work with these people that I do so deeply love and I'm grateful for that.
Maybe I'll become a behavior analyst after all.
Comments
Post a Comment